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Yes I get scared

Fear can reveal who you really are. This is why I love the world of fitness, you can allow yourself to be exposed and raw. Setting and training for a goal can be a really intimate experience.

Revealing yourself at your weakest moments is a scary prospect but you can gain so much strength from this kind of vulnerability. It’s said that you are who you really are when no one is looking; long solo rides and tough solo runs have left me with my own thoughts and vulnerabilities for long periods of time. I have cried, I have sworn, I’ve contemplated giving up.

I have failed at times in my life. It’s easy to only show case your best side and successes but failure is an important part of strength. It’s a crucial part of the human experience. As a teenager I was asked to stand up in high school assembly to read out the end of year athletics team report. I was the captain so it felt like an important responsibility. As hundreds of eyes looked at me, I just froze, had a panic attack and ran from the building. Recently, as an adult, I faced an important event and felt like I couldn’t go on. This time I found a way through the fear and did it. Perhaps I’d learnt form my teenage experience.

The bravest people I know failed at times. Sometimes this failure has been in part due to a lack of support or resources and this was out with their control. It’s those that still rise, those that get up time and time again despite failure and with the odds against them, that I admire the most.

There is never an absolute guarantee of success in any goal or dream you desire, and it doesn’t matter what this goal is – climb a hill, go for that first run, attend your first class. But if you let fear of failure paralyse you completely then you miss out on so much. Go on the journey and discover things about yourself that you never knew. Of course I have contemplated failure of my triathlon goal, of course I get scared but if I imagine that I’d allowed that to stop my attempt… well I would have missed out on so many great moments and experiences with fantastic people. I wouldn’t know the things about myself that I now know.

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