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Are you driven or are you being dragged?

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Do you reach for your phone and start scrolling? Are you really inspired by what you see or do you start your day unconsciously in a negative mindset because you’re comparing yourself to others the minute you wake up?

To be driven and inspired is great but it’s very different from being dragged. If you’re over training and lacking in pride in what you achieve because someone else is doing it better or you’re constantly trying to prove yourself, then perhaps you are coming from a place of fear and comparison rather than driving your own journey of fulfilment and joy.

Before mobile phones there were less people to compare ourselves to. We are a population of billions and the majority of this population can reveal themselves to a bigger audience than ever before on social media platforms. Unless you are literally the best of the best then there will always be someone better.

I admire the best of the best. This takes colossal commitment, spirit, talent and fortitude but success isn’t a pie with limited slices to go around. It’s a construct for anyone who doesn’t think in black

and white terms and doesn’t compare themselves to others so much.

Some people are dragged to success by wanting to prove their overly critical parents wrong or to make up for the shame of being bullied as a kid as examples of extrinsic motivation. But I believe true success comes from intrinsic motivation. Whereby you define your own terms of success and consistently build habits to achieve those terms whilst finding true, deep joy in the journey.

For some those terms are winning terms but I have read about Olympic champions who felt empty on the podium and people who run their first ever 5k without stopping who felt deep joy. For some it’s making millions but I have read about miserable millionaires and people on modest incomes who are quite content.

It is relative.

If your terms of success are to be the best then even that needs to come from a place of controlled emotions with your head and heart aligned. This might require working on yourself and any demons that are dragging rather than driving you.

Perhaps you’ve compared your physique unfavourably to others. Everyone can improve their physique but remember that in the top end of sport, competitors are drawn to that sport because of their natural favourable genetics. This isn’t an excuse to give up but rather set yourself realistic targets not based on the entirely different body type you saw and compared yourself to on Instagram that morning.

In this world a lot of people are talking themselves out of themselves because of unnecessary negativity , black and white thinking and comparison. If you are driven from a place of true joy, contentment and healthy competition then you are already a winner. Or perhaps it’s time to reach for something else first thing in the morning other than your phone?

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